So I’m European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there or if it is a trend that started recently in the past few years.
I don’t wanna generalize any country and know that not everyone is like this but I definitely noticed this type of pattern.
I increasingly noticed in the past years that many Americans are very hateful/cruel, are lacking empathy, become more and more aggressive and it seems like it’s becoming worse.
I’m not sure if this is maybe related to Americans needing to be “though” or something because I always hear about that the American mentality is pretty competitive and individualistic and instead of saying “we will go through this this together” they often have this mentality “it’s either me or you but it can’t be both who will win”. I mean I’m pretty sure that all these things like this biking culture, driving big “manly” pick up trucks, wrestling, football etc. are pretty prevalent in America compared to other countries and American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved and I guess the strongest opposite to Americans are probably Japanese people. Maybe American culture is generally more “rough” where they aren’t super sensitive and don’t really care how their words come over and just speak their mind (maybe cause they value free speech so much).
But to me this seems to go to the point where many Americans seem to have this attitude and are very ignorant and arrogant and basically think they’re better than anyone else and they only care for themselves.
And it feels like it’s so extreme to the point where everyone is hating, attacking and bashing on everyone and instead of being stronger united they’re just fighting against themselves and putting each other down and they always focus on the negative.
Especially online it seems like that no matter what the topic is and independent from whether they are Democrat or Republican they’re constantly bashing on someone and baselessly calling them “weak” even though in reality they’re probably the ones who are weak and trample onto people cause they’re obviously dissatisfied with themselves and aren’t able to man-up to face the real issues. You just can’t blame everything on others and have to take responsibility for yourself!
Some stuff that I’ve seen on American news like “Fox News” just seemed crazy where the reporters personally attack and bash on people which is something that would be unthinkable in Europe.
Even though many people were saying that Americans have this “fake friendliness” I’m thinking that even that disappeared in the last few years and they’re becoming more open to show what they really think which seems to be that they “don’t give a f* about you”.
Many Americans that I encountered seem so aggressive like they always need to bash onto something in this toxic way even though they’re actually in a very good position and have a lot to be grateful for. Like in other poor countries people have real problems and are literally starving because they have no food or they have war in their country.
I’m always thinking “dude, you need to chill” cause literally no one is attacking them and they’re fully secure. But it seems like they’re always searching for a fight or something.
It seems like many of these people are so disconnected from nature and become less human and I wonder why they can’t just spend meaningful time with other people being positive and not constantly waste their time with hating or complaining about something. Because this just doesn’t work and in a society with multiple people especially in a world where everything is more connected than ever we need to hold together and have empathy for one and another. That is one of the core morals that a human needs!
It seems like many Americans generally have this “cruelness” about them cause I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children and even the fact that guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can’t even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school and also this general mindset of America is doing everything the best and “America first”. I really don’t wanna bash on Americans at all and only want to share my experience because I just haven’t experienced this type of hate here in Europe in that extreme way and it just makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like this mood is affecting the whole world since American media and influence is prevalent everywhere.
To me it feels like this won’t end well and it feels like it’s just a matter of time until something very bad happens like the second civil war or so and the storm on the capitol might be nothing compared to that. But maybe that’s the only way they will finally learn if they’re lacking these core morals and integrity and they don’t get educated about that in school.
It also seems like they can’t handle critique and can’t admit it/stand to those things. When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it’s not the same here, cause that is literally just proving my point. There needs to be constructive discussions.
We’ve had a couple of reports about this post, but I’m going to let it slide for the moment because the discussion seems mostly respectful. Let’s keep it polite though please.
ITT: a bunch of Americans struggling to contain their simmering rage in order to formulate a coherent response.
Seriously though, I’m also European and OP’s little screed (which I skimmed after hitting a speed bump in paragraph 4) rings true to me.
A very recent example: the literal bloodthirstiness surrounding the healthcare executive’s murder. This really took me aback, not gonna lie. Made me very, very glad I’m not American. For a few days I even reconsidered what I’m doing here. After all, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near such a baying mob if it were in the street.
In answer to the question, loads of books have already been written on it. For example, Ezra’s Klein’s Why We’re Polarized. Didn’t read it but I think he makes an argument for changing political incentives because of party re-alignment. A bit unsatisfying.
My first intuition is that it’s a reflection of America’s declining status in the world. A bit like a guy who’s lost his wife and his job, America is going off the rails because it’s losing its position as Top Dog in the world. Exhibit A in the genre: Russia. But then this can’t be quite everything. After all, Britain lost an absolutely colossal empire and stayed pretty sane. Japan and Germany bounced right back from total national humiliation, too.
Other theories, then. A subconscious awareness of impending ecological collapse propelled by America’s uniquely egregious overconsumption? An absence of a decent civil war for 150 years? Not the case for Europe! Maybe you’re just itching to kill each other because it’s been such a while?
I dunno but I think it’s a good question.
Media and online interactions play up the differences in US society. They run deep (their civil war, the difference between Democrat and Republican states, racial tensions), but I don’t think they’re as significant as your post suggests.
American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved
I’ve worked with people from the US, Germans, and Finns. Generally the Germans and Finns have been more direct.
I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children
It’s a big country. I’m sure a few are, just like a few Europeans beat their kids, but generally no. I would check your sources on that.
When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it’s not the same here
Your statements and questions seem to reference the worst that we see of the US in social media and mainstream news. For someone who lives in the US (or is cynical), they could come across as trolling.
It’s not just the US.
The underlying cause you’re looking for is wealth inequality.
The vast majority of people are worker drones. We will work hard all of our lives in unsatisfying jobs with minimal leisure time, and if we get really lucky we can stop work for a few years before we die when we’re too sick to work any more.
This general discontent will manifest in hatred in one way or another. Social media is channelling it into different things but the underlying cause is the same.
The dumbest most faithful people in the country have had their religious institutions influenced by Conservative con men since the 70s in an attempt to create a loyal voter base that doesn’t care about their politicians causing the worst wealth inequality ever.
Basically the dumbest people on earth have been fooled into attacking straw men instead of being capable of forming associations of cause and effect in reality.
This is also what it feels like living here. America teaches everyone that everything is a zero sun game and you can’t get anywhere without putting someone else down. Community is not something most people value, instead preferring isolationism. There’s also a major lack of education.
Funny how people are huge fans of capitalism saying it generates wealth for everyone while thats the actual zero sum game. They worship the ultra-rich and dont realize every dollar one of them makes comes out of their pockets.
You have every right to be worried, the American empire is in decline and its ruling class is becoming increasingly fascist. This is reflected in public and online discourse and you have clearly taken notice. I would note though that what you see on FOX news is not followed by much of the younger generations. This is not to say that reactionaries do not exist amongst our youth, they certainly do and they have a fervor to them as well. They simply follow more contemporary fascist like Shapiro, Peterson, Fuentes, and billionaires like Musk. As well as manosphere content more often than not.
It is worth noting though that leftist political movements are growing rapidly too. We are at quite the disadvantage though.
Keep paying attention, it will get worse.
People think they have to beat other people at some imagined game to be happy, and forget the game was ever imagined in the first place. It’s a delusion.
Yeah I see that and it’s so sad cause we could actually be so happy if we would work together and be kind to each other.
can’t even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school
This isn’t true, the media just makes it look that way. The instances of school shooting are very dramatic, but statistically, your kid is in more danger on the drive to school than from a school shooting.
Yes, and sorta no.
Statistically, US children’s non-health related mortality causes are sitting with firearm deaths at #1 and vehicle related deaths at #2. That said, it’s not just school shootings for the firearm deaths, so they’re more likely to die in a car crash to and from school, but firearms overall throughout their lives.
Both of these categories are climbing year to year, with firearms growing faster than car deaths.
Overall, cars are the third highest reason US adults die after cancer and heart issues.
All of this sucks hard.
I know someone who moved to America. I think she’s living there for over 10 years now and she basically told me the opposite that she always thought the media was exaggerating this but when she moved there she actually experienced multiple shootings (where they we’re evacuated in school and she even heard gunshots in her neighborhood) which made her to not go alone anymore. In Europe the concept of owning a gun alone seems unimaginable.
I live in Texas, I’ve never had a gun go off near me outside of a gun range or rural area (where it’s legal and acceptable). Anecdotal experiences can be wild, right?
I lived in Texas for 30 years. For the last 10-15, I heard a gun in my area - in the city, nowhere near a gun range - at least once a week, if not more.
I finally left the state of insanity and we’re much happier for it.
Yep, that’s my point. I’ve lived in Texas all my life and never heard someone discharge a gun outside of a legal area. You’ve lived in Texas for 30 years and heard guns being fired regularly despite being in the city.
Don’t get me wrong, Texas is fucked in many ways, and while I’ll be sad to leave the scenery and ecology behind, I won’t be sad to leave the people (except my friends who live here).
Good luck to you my friend.
Just going to add my own anecdotal experience to the mix; I’ve lived in the northeast US for my whole life. I also used to be a teacher. I’ve never once been a victim or bystander to gun violence. Now I am in a spot of the US with more strict gun laws, but I have also lived in places with laws that are more lax.
From NEJM 2018 DOI: 10.1056/NEJMsr1804754 Motor vehicle crashes were the leading cause of death for children and adolescents, representing 20% of all deaths; firearm-related injuries were the second leading cause of death, responsible for 15% of deaths.
I suspect what you’re seeing is the increased frequency of vulgar American bigotry showing up in mass media, thanks to the unfiltered exposure of their behavior.
But I have to point out… this isn’t something new in the American psyche. Keep in mind that America has always been a deeply hateful and bigoted place. Go back to the years following 9/11 and look at how many mosques got burned. Consider that Congress banned French Fries in the cafeteria because the French PM wouldn’t toss in with our genocidal Iraq invasion.
Go back further than that, and you’ve got horrifying police violence aimed at African Americans, Latinos, and East Asians going back… centuries. All endorsed by a parochial upper class that funneled money to Apartheid South Africa, Nun-raping Contra Rebels in Nicaragua, and Fascist Mafiosos crawling all over the Mediterranean during the Years of Lead.
Our mass media has been overflowing with bigotry from modern day Steven Crowder all the way back to Father Coughlin’s antisemitic rants during the Great Depression.
America is a deeply rotten country full of awful people. And while we’re hardly alone in that regard, we export so much of that vileness abroad that its hard for outsiders to ignore.
It’s not an American thing it’s a human thing.
The more time spent angry the more active and larger the amygdala gets.
So now when in a situation the amygdala is calling the shoots, and it’s either calling for blood or for you to run.
It’s how we evolved, if we’re surrounded by anger, fear, and confrontation we switch over to a mode that can handle that.
The current problem is fearmongering and billionaire ran media that keeps telling everyone to panic, so they do.
People get in this state from the media, interact with others and it spreads. Society as we know it is incredibly recent on an evolutionary scale, so it is often shocking how fast we can slide back to people who are thinking on a short timeline where 20 years is “forever ago”.
That’s not even getting into wealth inequality and how resource scarceness while young can fuck someone up for life.
I can corroborate, anecdotally, the behavioral side of this.
When I have conversations with notoriously angry people and can maintain my chill and treat them with dignity (despite whatever behavior they’re exhibiting), they usually chill out. The more of angry person they are takes more effort, but patience, calm, and respect diffuse things very effectively. The patience is really hard, but it has worked for me.
The problem, which is relevant to the physical changes you described, is that the effect is only temporary in isolation. I have found the repeating this over time with a person does cause their baseline anger level to reduce over time, but it’s a fuckton of work and difficult to scale due to the time commitment. It also doesn’t scale via media because this kind of behavior doesn’t draw attention. It’s an unfortunate bug in our psychology
It might explain a few things if this was an American thing, as I have experienced similar things as well, and I don’t know why either. Though in my case few of them identify as American.
Thank you for being sane
What do you mean by “identify as American”?
I’m technically American, but America wants me dead. As such, I do not voluntarily identify as American anymore. Dunno if that’s what they’re referring to, but ye.
What do you mean by America wants you dead?
I’m trans. America’s right-wing, who are now in control, have repeatedly talked about how America needs to be purged of “transgenderism”.
That is deff a thing going on unfortunately. Y’all Qaeda needs to go. Good luck out there
guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can’t even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school
Absolutely untrue, hardly ever seen a gun in public that wasn’t on a cop. Born and bred in Oklahoma (extremely conservative), worked in South Chicago (gangbangers everywhere) and now live in NW Florida (conservative again). And I’ve been in a lot of scary places and ran with seriously sketchy people when young.
About half of guns deaths are suicides. Most of the rest are gangs doing gang shit or interpersonal violence. Most murder victims knew their killer, anything but random.
Year in, year out, CDC stats have vehicular death at the same numbers as gun deaths. Stay away from shitty people and places, don’t kill yourself, you’re far more likely to die in or by a car. That scares the crap out of me, yet no one talks about it because it’s normal.
Interesting anecdotes. As a pretentious European (who has visited plenty of America), Oklahoma is my idea of Peak Awful USA. Like a worse version of Texas with even more capital punishment. But of course that’s just generalization and you sound cool!
Suicides should definitely be taken out of the baseline gun statistics IMO.
Mississippi is far worse than Oklahoma. Love those folks, but it’s bad.
Not sure we should remove suicide stats. Makes the numbers less “panicky”, but an easy point-and-click death is something we have to talk about.
Removed by mod
Random death vs. fear of random death was the point. One of these things is not like the other.
I hope you’re not naive enough to think it also isn’t happening where you are, too.
While I fully agree and am very afraid of the current developments this answer kind of comes off as “you too” which feels like a try to belittle the issue.
There’s a lot of context missing in this, like the USA having the biggest army and privately owned guns, just to name one thing.
It definitely is unfortunately. Source: not an American.
America doesn’t often follow international law, because they often get away with acting poorly.
When a country has the largest economy and the strongest military and does not have neighbours that are equal to it in power they tend swing their weight around.
Same thing can be seen with Russia, China and India.
