Libb

We use desk and reading lamps, most being 24w LED a few 12. We don’t use much ambient light… beside the sun, coming by the windows ;)

Depends when (do I have enough money) and to whom.

I’ve donated all my adult life, for me it’s a way to contribute back, to support, or just to say thank you. But I must also say that in the last decade or so I’ve started donating less to some of them, and have also completely ended my support to a few. Why? Because many charities have started too hard to push their political/ethical/moral agenda.

Among those I constantly support: the French Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders, local food banks too. I will give them money for as long as I’m able to. Like I do to a few other local charities too. I’ve also started donating to my local catholic church (if anyone is wondering, I’m not a catholic I don’t even believe in god) because I think they’re doing real cool stuff to help people that need help and they do it without forcing them to adopt their faith, or whatever.

Wikipedia too, just not yearly. I donated the kind of money I used to spend on print encyclopedia before Wikipedia was a thing just not yearly exactly like I used to not buy a new encyclopedia every year ;)

I also donate to Free/Libre Software projects and devs too (I don’t care much open source itself, it’s the promised freedom that seduced me as a user) provided they don’t ask to adhere to some sort of moral code of conduct in order to use their app or code or whatever. I know this is unpopular stance and that’s fine with me. To make it clear: it doesn’t matter if I agree (or not) with those moral values they’re promoting. My issue is that I think freedom (of usage) is about freedom (of usage) and it should not be freedom (of usage) as long as the dev is ok with what one is using it for, or who one is, or what one thinks, or what one likes. So, if that’s what they’re promoting I won’t oppose it but I certainly will not be supporting it.

it’s someone that is getting hired to do military activities (more or less openly, more or less legally). It’s not a regular soldier (belonging in some nation’s army) but like more like a private contractor, hired by some nation, a private corp, a private group or even by wealthy individuals.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercenary

Like the others: don’t. It will most probably be too much of a burden, for him most certainly (he already told you not to do that, it could be a costly mistake to ignore that explicit demand) and, I would imagine, It will be painful for you too even though you may think otherwise, for now. Believe me: you don’t know.

(old fart mode ON)
Being in a couple does not mean being together all the time, imho that would be the surest way to shorten the life expectancy of most couples. And that’s coming from someone that has been with their partner for 25+ years and counting.

Also, like already mentioned in other comments if you want him to grow and become an adult, let him have experiences and make friends on his own. It is is essential and, yes, that also undoubtedly includes a fair share of bad and harsh experiences too… For him, as well as for both of you as a couple.

Our own couple is holding nicely not because we’re perfect my spouse and I, we are not. Quite the contrary. And certainly not because I (over) protect her from the outside world. She would massacre me if I tried to act like that. We’re sticking together because we know we can work (better) together to make things work no matter what’s happening and because we enjoy being a couple, aka we appreciate being together without constantly being glued together all the time or constantly trying to tell the other what they should do ;)

Really, don’t be afraid to let your friend get hurt and feel lost. Like a baby learning to walk or anyone learning to ride a bike… feeling afraid and falling down (and getting hurt) is a legit part of the teaching/learning process. There is no other way to learn… anything that is worth learning.

(old fart mode OFF)

That’s the fundamental problem with your post,

If you say so. Thx for the useful insight.

As a student, I would not have offered 100$ + chocolate + flowers to anyone. I was too broke :)

First, I would check with her brother if it’s expected you should make her a gift? I mean, in today’s society, getting too close to a teenager, even for her birthday or as a way to be polite, may be very ill-understood.

Then, probably I would have written them a nice personalized note, with a little silly sketch or something, along with some flowers. Say an encouraging note for a young girl/woman. Or maybe I would have offered her a book. To write the note or pick the book, I would have needed to know the girl a little more (worst case, ask her brother). By default, without any specific info, I would pick a nice poetry anthology, the nicest edition I can afford so the person would see it’s no just some random shit I have picked up on my way to her party (and would not discard it without even looking at it).

Poetry can be an amazing gift… provided you can get the person to open the book and start reading the poems with interest (appetite), which is not a given with those younger generations. It may help if you already noticed a poem you think she might enjoy more in that book and decided to put a (nice) bookmark at the corresponding page?

Yeah, I’m that old that I like to offer books (including poetry) to people… as well as to myself ;)

If I was to summarize it (which I would normally not do) I would say empathy is the ability to smile when witnessing some random person being happy, and to cry when seeing some random person crying.

It’s being able to feel emotions without any, personal or physical, bounds between those two persons that may not even know each other. It’s recognizing oneself in that other, a stranger, despite all the differences. Something along that line.

Glad to know. Like I said, it’s a complex question but a very interesting one. Do not hesitate, if you want to discuss it further. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always considered it a huge boost, I was about to write ‘a blessing’ but that would certainly not have been a smart choice of words ;), the ability to have articulated discussions about even the most… delicate questions.

I appreciate the thoughtful response. My main takeaway, and what i wanted to make clear: the opinions your parents inbued to you were just that, opinions.

I would not have considered it like that back then, and maybe I would not even today but I completely understand your point of view. And that’s true. There is certainly a huge difference between the way I was raised by my parents, no matter the other issues, and the way I would have been raised in believing in… something so out of of reach and unquestionable I should fear and bow to.

Still, they were highly destructive in their own way and, my live getting closer to its end than to its beginning I still have not managed to overcome a few of the damages… without any god involved in the process of damaging those things in me. That’s what I think is key: it’s too easy to think that by not preaching some religion/faith or another one is a better person. That’s not as simple.

I hope that clears up some of my first comment.

It does. Thx a lot for taking the time.

This is the thing I was praising. I wanted to point out how much of a benefit that is to you, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Agreed and make no mistake: I fully realize that (it’s part of the education I mentioned I received) and for that I’m deeply grateful to them. But my gratitude will end there. For all the rest, I’d rather express no feelings of any kind at all as they would uselessly and mostly be negative. That would serve no purpose.

I hope you’re having a great weekend, and I’d be happy to chat in dms if you wanted to discuss more.

The same to you. It sure feels great to have a quality exchange. It’s not my habit to reach out (mostly because I’m shy), but don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever want to discuss anything further.

It seems like a subtle thing on the surface, but it’s not.

Indeed, it’s not. So many large US corps have been instantly shifting their so-called support like good little soldiers…

The kicker? I need this job.

Unless one is Musk or one of his close friends, don’t we all need money?

It’s up to you to decide what to do. I mean, I know what I would do but I also know I’m not in your shoes and that would not be fair for me to push you one way or the other.

What I can say is that you have all my sympathy. That new US president has created some real mess. I imagine most US citizens won’t be aware of that but that US president also reached out to those foreign non-US owned private corps (like, here in France) that are doing business with the US gov telling them they should stop their local, non-US inclusive policy if they wanted to keep doing business with the US gov. That’s the new version of the ‘Land of the free as long as you agree with the boss’, I suppose?

I saw that article about illiterate college kids too. Worrying.

Indeed. We have the same issues here in France, btw. It’s an absolute failure of our educational system (and of too many parents persisting in wanting that failure to be used) that will cost dear to all those kids, and then will cost to the society as a whole: that’s our future ‘elite’ that’s being uneducated.

Although I believe the Jewish minority was the only one that seriously dissented from the prevailing polytheism.

Edit: There were the Christians, a little later on. But I wouldn’t know that all religions would be polytheist back then except Jews. I’m really not an expert.

In this context, to inculcate irrational beliefs in children seems to me to be like playing with fire.

It sure can be. But, talking irrational beliefs, wouldn’t you agree that telling a child they’re a unique and amazing person and that all they do is perfect and amazing too, that they should not have to get bad grades at school because it’s infuriating, that they should not have to do their homework because it’s tiresome, that they should be allowed to do whatever they fancy the moment they fancy doing it, is also like playing with fire? Still, despite it containing not a single mention of god, religion or spiritual beliefs it’s something hordes of parents are telling their own kids every single day.

I do sincerely wonder what will do more harm to those kids but, once again, I’m not pro religion nor am I against it. I’m only pro taking nothing for granted—beginning with our very own certainties if they can’t be demonstrated ;)

You’re welcome.

I wanted to bring a different point of view as I’m not a huge fan of over-simplification with such a complex question (no matter what I may or may not think about religions)

+1 because I see no reason for the downvotes, beside some people not liking what you say or think? To those persons: feel free to downvote me to oblivion if it helps you feel better and much ‘righter’ persons but do keep in mind that it may also not be the most efficient way to help me understand in what way you think I’m mistaken. Obviously, this matter only if you want to help me understand, not if you want to ‘punish’ me for disagreeing with you. But then, I would wonder in what way that is supposed to punish me? Have a nice day, whatever you decide.

Idk how you take that and say who’s to say if one’s better than the other. (…) hat’s what good parents who are religious should be doing.

On a more general note, may I advise you to be more cautious with your use of certain words. I mean, ‘good parents’ is a very strong expression nobody should use solely based on a first impression, a few words read, and certainly not as a way to demonstrate a point in a discussion because… doing so you’re only projecting your own personal values and ideals regarding what good parents should do (which could be 100% correct, or not, that’s not the point) and, well, in that specific case I can assure you you do not know who my parents were. Or if they were any good.

I will tell you they looked real nice people and most people meeting them liked them a lot. I will also tell you they’re long gone and that I did not shed a single tear when they passed away. What does that say about them and what does that say about me? Maybe that’s telling what an ungrateful asshole I’m, and I may very well be that. Or maybe it’s telling how appearance can be misleading and how much better and how much more intimately I knew my parents than anybody else. Who am I to tell?

Your story unironically proves that atheist parents are far and away better parents than religious ones. Idk how you take that and say who’s to say if one’s better than the other. (…) hat’s what good parents who are religious should be doing. Not teaching their children to do exactly as they do.

I think it unironically shows what you believe in, which is fine by me and which is something I may even 100% agree with. That’s not the point.

My point was only this: my atheist parents (so you know: they both were sent to a religious school as kids too. Therefore, they did with me exactly like their parents did with them save that their own parents did not call themselves atheists) forced their own personal opinions onto me, without me being given any real choice.

My point was that the question should not be limited to spiritual or religious matters. And also being religious does not make someone an asshole more nor less than being an atheist would make them an asshole. It’s the person that’s the issue.

Then, I went back to the OP question, saying this was an interesting and very old question with no simple answer, referring to that Plato dude writing about raising children somewhere in the 4th or 3rd century before that other dude, Jesus, was even born. Why mentioning Plato? Maybe because that bearded Greek dude wearing a dress and sandals realized that families in his time were already pushing what he considered way too much personal values and crap, not just religious craps, onto their own child and that the only crap a child should be fed is the crap that the city (aka the Nation) has deemed good for… the city? I would encourage anyone to go read Plato.

So, where does that leave us?

We will all agree that thinking they hold onto some indisputable truth will concern many religious persons, right? Where I seemingly disagree with a few around here, is that I also think it concerns way too many so-called atheists who I think would be much more accurately described as ‘anti-religious’ (because ‘a-theism’ is the idea that there is no god, not that one should hate on god or religion). So, unlike those anti-religious persons, I don’t consider what they call atheism as a de facto smarter/better choice than being ‘theist’, or religious. That’s way too simple… like I was saying.

think: Ancient Rome,

As far as I know, Ancient Rome (pre-christian) welcomed many and very different faiths.

Not wanting to put down their phone would rank high for me those days, even higher than smoking (which stinks and I know that for a fact, I was a smoker some 20 years ago ;)

Body starts aging at around 20 if I recall correctly.

Doctors said I’m fine btw.

One thing you might want to do is see another doctor and get another opinion of your physical condition? I almost lost my eyesight because of an incomp, I mean, with a doctor that was not that well informed. Had I not decided to check with another doctor…

I can’t resist mentioning your fellow (or should I say foe?) blood takers community, !vampires@lemmy.zip

Sorry (partly, at least) for my silly humor, and welcome :)

Where do you think the line is between practicing your own religion faithfully and unethically forcing your beliefs on someone else?

That’s not just someone that’s a child, their child. So, the question should be: where do you think a parent should stop being a parent who has authority over their child? And where a child stop being a child (someone being taken care of and who is subject to the authority of their parents) to become a person (someone responsible for themselves).

Parents are responsible for their kids up until the child is reaching the ‘age of reason’ (sorry, not sure how to say that in English: when the is (legally) able to live and decide by themselves). How would anyone be able to raise (be responsible for) a child and make decision without pushing their own values on the kid? I mean, for me it’s almost impossible. You can give options, a lot of options, but there will still be limits. Heck, even the simplest ‘eat your veggies’, ‘brush your teeth’, or ‘you must do your homework before you can play your video game’ (or their exact opposites, aka ‘do whatever you want, I don’t care about you’) is already telling a lot about what values the parents are pushing onto their children.

My parents raised me as the atheists they were. That too is an ethical/philosophical/moral personal choice they pushed onto me without me being able to object anything, right? They never asked me if I was an atheist, or not.

The funny thing is that them being hardcore atheists did not prevent them to tweak the system so I could be send to a private catholic school because my father knew it was the best school. Another (unethical?) choice of them on which I had little to say as a child. And to be frank with you, now aged 50+ this is probably the second of only two reasons I feel gratitude towards my parents (the first one being that I had a roof and I was fed up until I was able to leave): the teaching there was demanding but it was also amazingly good.

Like mentioned already I would say: it’s the parent’s call. Because if christian or whatever else parents should not be allowed to share their faith with their own child, then logic mandates that no parent at all should be allowed to share no personal value at all with their child. Then, no parent should be allowed to raise their own child.

That may not be bad, though: Plato considered the idea in his Republic, suggesting kids should not be raised by parents but by city (the Ancient Greek ancestor of our modern States and Nations) operated and controlled institutions. But then, the question instantly becomes: who will decide what this city/state/nation controlled education should be about?

Real great question, with no simple answer I’m afraid.

My English is probably lacking (for that, I apologize), but I don’t think I treated like ‘anything’ special. I only shared my point of view on what you expressed which is, you know, the exact purpose of any discussion. Hopefully.

Not sure why you’re treating it like an attack on society.

I consider giving up on any word an attack on society, that’s true, for the reason I mentioned: language should be a common good, it should not be divided between groups or communities owing each a part of it. That’s all I wanted to say. By no mean I consider what you or what anyone else could say an attack on anything or on anyone.

Or are we already at that point of entrenchment where anyone disagreeing with an idea is considered an ‘attack’ against that idea?