cross-posted from: https://infosec.pub/post/14650446
As I was growing up, my family had a couple of sayings I took for granted were universal, at least within my language. As I became an adult I have learned that these are not universal at all:
- the ketchup effect. It is an expression meaning that when things arrive, they all arrive at the same time. Think of an old school glass ketchup bottle. When you hit the bottom of it, first there is nothing, then there is nothing and then the entire content is on your food.
- faster than Jesus slid down the mount of olives. Basically a saying that implies that the mount of olives is slippery due to olive oil and Jesus slipped.
- What you lack in memory, your legs suffer. An expression meaning that when you are forgetful, you usually need to run back and thus your legs suffer.
Please share your own weird family sayings.
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A few from my grandfather and father which aren’t unique to them but aren’t universal:
- “red as a smacked ass” or just “smacked ass” - referring to someone who is embarrassed so their face is flushed or generally just a fool
- “Born on Wednesday looking both ways for the weekend” - someone with a lazy eye
- “Scissor grinder” - aggravating person, or someone who inserts themselves into other’s business. Ostensibly referring to a person who travels offering sharpening services because they come by unannounced and make a lot of noise in the street.
Related, but not a saying, we had a family tradition at Easter where my grandparents/parents would put all the egg dyes together and dye a final egg a murky brown. That egg was given to the kid with the worst behavior over the last year. It was called the “pissmuckle” egg. There was no discussion after you got it either or any punishment, it was just a censure.
Did the recipient eat it?
That’s what always happened since no one had the courage to just throw it away.
What you lack in memory, your legs suffer.
Where are you from? Over here in southern Germany it is quite common.
I’m from Sweden so this one might actually be a European thing.
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The last one is a legit saying in Germany “Was man nicht im Kopf hat, hat man in den Beinen” (What you don’t have in your head you have in your legs.)
If you are not german (I guess if you were, you would know this is a common saying) maybe your family heard it from some German friends or acquaintance and adapted it.
“Let me put my eyes on you,” “I just wanna put eyes on you”: I don’t need anything, but I miss you and would like to visit
“Jimmy legs” : Restless legs
“Hotter than the devils draws (as in underwear) outsides” : It’s hot. No one uses “draws” for underwear anymore I guess, so I’ve started saying “hotter than the devils asshole” but it’s not as “poetic.”
Edit: Forgot one. “Cabbgae story” : When I was a kid, my grandmother told me about the milk man and, for whatever reason, my next question was “and who brings cabbage?” The response was “the cabbage man” which my grandmother explained like it was gospel. When she would bring up something, we started going, “Oh, she’s got a cabbage story.” Now a cabbage story is some old folk’s story. Like, “back when I was a kid, I walked up hill both ways!” would be a cabbage story.
“Hotter than the devils draws (as in underwear) outsides” : It’s hot. No one uses “draws” for underwear anymore I guess, so I’ve started saying “hotter than the devils asshole” but it’s not as “poetic.”
It’s actually “drawers” but I guess they sound the same in certain accents.
Ohhh! Thank you for the correction!
When people spell what they hear, it’s the countryside victimized the most. It’s nearly the argument I had with Doctorov (a pointless effort, I’ll tell ya).
“Put eyes on X” is pretty common that I’ve seen.
The cabbage story is real cute. Might steal it
Grams pulled an uno reverse when I was complaining about the lack of buttons on tech. She said, “Oh, a cabbage story?” shook my soul 😂
6 one way, a half dozen the other.
This is fairly common in my experience.
Tomato, tomatoe
If you’ve got a dead hooker in the trunk drive the speed limit.
One crime at a time!
You’ve got to drink enough in your youth, so you can live off the bottle deposits when you’re old.
Ha! “Try to save so you don’t live on bottle deposits” I’ve heard.
“Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.” - Find a way to do it yourself, because it isn’t happening otherwise
My family too. They really looked down on cursing but shit was the exception. I remember my mom getting mad at young teenage me for saying “how the hell do you get this thing off” but if I’d said “this is bullshit” it would have been fine.
Another classic. I had never heard her say fuck until she was so mad at me she said it. Then she became even more furious because I made her say it.
That one is in my family so I think it my be a bit more universal than you thought
Unless… This is a family reunion?
I think we kiss now. I don’t know how these things are supposed to work I’m from the deep south
Unless we’re related, this one isn’t just your family.
It’s like Olive Garden up in this thread
That one is stupid with two O’s
“Everybody’s record starts somewhere.” If you’re considering doing something illegal, is this worth starting your record? (It’s also used to dismiss someone getting into trouble for the right reason.)
I’m realizing that my previous one sets a bad tone for this, but I had hippie uncles, and we were all taught, “We do not cooperate with the police.” Some of us were recently reminiscing about one of my dead uncles and said, “We do not-!” And the rest of us said, “-cooperate with the police!”
All the rest of them are your typical American South sayings.
“There’s always money in the banana stand”
My grandma used to say “drinking coffe standing up brings bad luck”.
While I’m not superstitious, I actually believe that taking the proper time to experience the little daily treats is necessary to get the best out of your dayI completely agree, I view it like meditation. Sit down and actually enjoy your coffee, sit and listen to music without distraction, sit and truly enjoy the moment. Without phone etc
“If you sing at the table you’ll cry before you go to bed.” I thought it was super common until I said it to my kid and my partner thought I was crazy.
Grandma’s empty threat punishment to all my cousins: “I’m gonna jerk a knot in your tail”
When something would strike you with immediate worry, like almost falling off a cliff, real ass-clenching moments, she would say: “That really pulled your pucker string”
Love and miss that woman.
Plenty people in my family refer to cat kneading, in Portuguese, as “dancinha do leite” (milk dance). And I always took it as if it was as universal as “amassar pãozinho” (to knead bread). Well, it isn’t; I discovered this in my adulthood. Apparently it’s from Italian.
There’s also bunch of references to someone making things worse as “batata verde” (green potato); like “xô, vá ser batata verde noutro canto” (shoo, go be a green potato elsewhere) or “[pessoa] é uma batata verde” ([person] is a green potato). I get the reasoning, but no idea where my family got this from.
I’m going to start using green potatoe, thank you.
Cats make biscuits!
